In November, I wrote two posts about driving to and from New York City. Traffic and how it affects the drive played a big part in the first story and while I didn't say so explicit in the post, the intensity of traffic is directly correlated with the time of day you reach any of the Hudson River Crossings.
On the way down during that November trip, I was trying to make a 10:00am meeting and so reached my usual crossing of choice, the Lincoln Tunnel, around 8:15am. That's just about peak rush hour, which put me right in the middle of the inbound third (that's an estimate) of the 120,000 (that's not) vehicles that use the tunnel each day.
I've been back to the city a few times since then and on one occasion had the luxury of arriving at the tunnel closer to noon. Here is proof positive that timing is everything.
Instead of seeing this:
I saw this:
Instead of seeing this:
I saw this:
Instead of seeing this:
I saw this:
Instead of seeing this:
I saw this:
The time for trip 1 door to door was 4:25. Trip 2, closer to 3:45. And I didn't have to curse my manual transmission due to stop and go traffic.
If traffic was a key part in part 1 of the "down and back series", the need for and aesthetic value of a Big Monkey was the persistent theme of part 2. If you recall, I asserted that the addition of a Big Monkey would greatly improve the look of several of NYC's classic landmarks.
An alert and loyal reader (OK, it was my mother-in-law) turns out to be a Big Monkey fan as well and she felt the pain of "monkey-lack" nearly as acutely as I did. She decided to do something about it and so Christmas morning I found this under the tree:
 |
| So he's not THAT big. But I wouldn't mess with him if I were you. |
I knew immediately what I had to do; Get the Big Monkey on the George Washington Bridge and the Empire State Building. And I had to do it ASAP.
I will admit here to being mightily influenced by the "Heisenblog Principle". In preparation for my most recent trip to New York, I packed the Big Monkey snugly into the seat beside me with the intent of photographing him on the icons during the trip home. To ensure success, I took care to hide the Big Monkey before leaving the little Scion in the hands of the parking attendant in Manhattan (strictly for the Big Monkey's safety...I don't care what the parking guy says about me...really...even if I could understand him). I waited impatiently in my meeting, dreaming of the Big Monkey photo shoot to come.
The plan was to take the photo using perspective to make it look like the Big Monkey was on the structures.
Like this:
 |
| Soooooooo Thirsty! |
Well, it turns out that it is pretty much impossible to hold the Big Monkey in one hand, the camera in the other and then create enough distance to get perspective while navigating the stop and go traffic heading back into the tunnel. I didn't get the shot. Not even close. To be honest, I never actually got to click the shutter.
I let myself, the loyal reader and, most of all, the Big Monkey down. Much brooding and recrimination on the long drive home.
But in this modern age there is always a technological fix. And so I present to you two classic NYC Icons improved with the addition of the Big Monkey. You be the judge. Where I stand is pretty clear.
The Empire State Building:
Before
 |
| Boring, Cliché, So Last Century |
Improved
 |
| New, Vibrant, Cutting Edge and Extreme |
The George Washington Bridge
Before
 |
| Yeah, engineering miracle, whatever |
Improved
 |
| 8th Wonder of the World, Dynamic, a Must See Before You Die |
I think the Monkey and I have made our point.
Think of these as concept mock ups. The Big Monkey and I are waiting and available to work with the New York city planners on this project. This is Manhattan's chance to put itself on the map and finally drop that "the place across the river from Hoboken" tag. Be Bold New York! Now is your time!
Of course, my Big Monkey is not the first to offer his services to New York:
Obviously, the Big Monkey would prefer a happier ending than his cousin enjoyed, but we're ready to take on the challenge.
Ah, Back on the Road...feels good!
No comments:
Post a Comment