"The Apple and the Tree" or "Do What I Say, Not What My Behavior Says or Especially What I have Written About Doing in a Stupid Blog!"

Date Line Ithaca, January 30th, 2011

Ordinarily, I revel in the idea that someone, anyone, might be reading these electronic scribbles.  I love looking at the number of page views for Road Work and when I see that I have had a reader from Poland, Singapore, Russia or Malaysia, I get pretty excited.

Who knew I'd ever regret that someone in my house had actually read it.

But a little back story.  In the first Road Work post, I wrote about a little adventure occasioned by a lack of attention paid to the gas gauge.  In short, the post was about running out of gas and my unfortunate propensity for and history of doing just that.

You can see where this is going.

So when the phone rang with my daughter on the line saying she had run out of gas on her way home, I found myself in a bit of a quandary.  I WANTED to lecture her on responsibility and paying attention and planning ahead...

Disclaimer: I couldn't entirely help it. I HAD to say something about looking at the gauge.  And I'm sure she got some "I am mad" vibe through the ether.  And why not? After all, we make mistakes so that our kids don't have to; so they can learn from and avoid our missteps.  Of course, by that logic, humanity should have eliminated error several millennia ago.  


I did pay for my unfairness immediately as all of my many gas cans are in the shed, which was of course frozen shut.  A crowbar, kicking with heavy boots and swear words came into play before I finally got it open.  On the plus side, I worked out my anger AND managed to break a pretty good sweat, despite the 17 degree temperature. 


....you should take better care of mom's car and tell her to walk home and walk back with the gas that she would have to pay for and...

But of course I couldn't (see disclaimer above).  After all, I had forced her to read my blog, leaving me without a gas can to stand on.  Caught in my own electronic web!

Sarah was the one to go pick her up, but when the daughter got home, I gave her a high five and said "Welcome to the Club".  What else could I do?  She knows my secret.

Although I did tell her not to do it again......



 Of course, I can't finish a post without at least one picture, so here it the saving gas can.

Yes, it is a repeat image.  But it is cold and dark.
And my foot hurts from kicking the door.

And a few Big Monkey pictures, just for luck.

See, the Big Monkey even makes the Hudson River Look good.
Don't those pedestrians look startled?

Only the SR-71 Blackbird is as cool as the big Monkey.

         

Timing, Comparisons, Second Views and A Big Monkey

Wow, its been a while since I've taken a whack at this blog thingy.  Chalk it up to holidays, busyness and just possibly a little bit of laziness.  Time to get Back on the Road.

In November, I wrote two posts about driving to and from New York City.  Traffic and how it affects the drive played a big part in the first story and while I didn't say so explicit in the post, the intensity of traffic is directly correlated with the time of day you reach any of the Hudson River Crossings.

On the way down during that November trip, I was trying to make a 10:00am meeting and so reached my usual crossing of choice, the Lincoln Tunnel, around 8:15am. That's just about peak rush hour, which put me right in the middle of the inbound third (that's an estimate) of the 120,000 (that's not) vehicles that use the tunnel each day.

I've been back to the city a few times since then and on one occasion had the luxury of arriving at the tunnel closer to noon.  Here is proof positive that timing is everything.

Instead of seeing this:

I saw this:

Instead of seeing this:

I saw this:

Instead of seeing this:

I saw this:

Instead of seeing this:

I saw this:

The time for trip 1 door to door was 4:25.  Trip 2, closer to 3:45.  And I didn't have to curse my manual transmission due to stop and go traffic.

If traffic was a key part in part 1 of the "down and back series",  the need for and aesthetic value of a Big Monkey was the persistent theme of part 2.  If you recall, I asserted that the addition of a Big Monkey would greatly improve the look of several of NYC's classic landmarks.  

An alert and loyal reader (OK, it was my mother-in-law) turns out to be a Big Monkey fan as well and she felt the pain of "monkey-lack" nearly as acutely as I did.  She decided to do something about it and so Christmas morning I found this under the tree:

So he's not THAT big.  But I wouldn't mess with him if I were you.

I knew immediately what I had to do; Get the Big Monkey on the George Washington Bridge and the Empire State Building.  And I had to do it ASAP.

I will admit here to being mightily influenced by the "Heisenblog Principle".  In preparation for my most recent trip to New York, I packed the Big Monkey snugly into the seat beside me with the intent of photographing him on the icons during the trip home.  To ensure success, I took care to hide the Big Monkey before leaving the little Scion in the hands of the parking attendant in Manhattan (strictly for the Big Monkey's safety...I don't care what the parking guy says about me...really...even if I could understand him).  I waited impatiently in my meeting, dreaming of the Big Monkey photo shoot to come. 

The plan was to take the photo using perspective to make it look like the Big Monkey was on the structures.

Like this:

Soooooooo Thirsty!

 Well, it turns out that it is pretty much impossible to hold the Big Monkey in one hand, the camera in the other and then create enough distance to get perspective while navigating the stop and go traffic heading back into the tunnel.  I didn't get the shot.  Not even close.  To be honest, I never actually got to click the shutter.

I let myself, the loyal reader and, most of all, the Big Monkey down.  Much brooding and recrimination on the long drive home.

But in this modern age there is always a technological fix.  And so I present to you two classic NYC Icons improved with the addition of the Big Monkey.  You be the judge.  Where I stand is pretty clear.

The Empire State Building:

Before

Boring, Cliché, So Last Century

Improved

New, Vibrant, Cutting Edge and Extreme

The George Washington Bridge

Before

Yeah, engineering miracle, whatever

Improved

8th Wonder of the World, Dynamic, a Must See Before You Die

I think the Monkey and I have made our point.

Think of these as concept mock ups.  The Big Monkey and I are waiting and available to work with the New York city planners on this project.  This is Manhattan's chance to put itself on the map and finally drop that "the place across the river from Hoboken" tag.  Be Bold New York!  Now is your time!

Of course, my Big Monkey is not the first to offer his services to New York:

Obviously, the Big Monkey would prefer a happier ending than his cousin enjoyed, but we're ready to take on the challenge.

Ah, Back on the Road...feels good!